do herpes really smell.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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