i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
