i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
