Soap is not a condiment
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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