just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
