i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
