it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
