you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
