i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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