I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
