My first STD was from a foam party
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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