the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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