I CAN MOONWALK!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
