For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
