youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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