Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
