this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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