Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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