I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
