Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
