Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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