I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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