Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Randomize
