I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
