are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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