is your mom at the bar?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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