Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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