i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize