I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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