And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We left an ass print on the piano.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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