You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We just shotgunned beers for America
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
