Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
