smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
