I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
