My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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