In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
