My first STD was from a foam party
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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