We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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