The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
