real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
