yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
