are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
