She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
