I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
