The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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