I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
