very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
