i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My breasts were aching with rage.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
