You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
