I bet he comes in French.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
pray to the hookup gods
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
