I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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